Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Would I Still get my Big Ben ?

It was an extremely boring day and i was debugging some extremely boring problems.We had just got back from an extremely boring lunch and i got back an extremely boring bottle of mango-banana smoothie. Although the sticker on the bottle said it was a mango-banana smoothie with a nice picture of a juicy mango and a delicious looking banana, the ingredients writen in small letters said it contained half a mango, quarter banana and 3 full oranges.Yeah thats right - England is strange in more than one ways but not as strange as my friends in Southampton :-)

I somehow managed to pull through the boring day and when it was time to leave , I put in thesmoothie bottle in my bag and ran along. Next morning i was in office quite early. Pratap came in later on and as soon as he came in, he climbed up desks to reach for the humax TV thats kept on one of the higher stands. Yeah he loves dis-integrating that TV just to find out how many tuners in contains although he finally looks it up on google :-). He came to me with some problem but then he did not really ask me about the problem. He instead asked me if i was drunk cuz he cud smell alcohol.Well helloooooooooooo.......i did look sleepy with red eyes and i was talking crap but that did not mean i was drunk.....Could he not see the halo around my head ?? Blind as ever i thought ?? Yeah a human usually has 2 eyes and one mouth so we can see more and talk less but if u meet pratap for just 5 mins and he did not even ask u if u were drunk , u wud still surely think he has 2 mouths and no eyes at all and maybe a malfunctioning nose. By the way...for the records, its pratap who has to run to the bar every evening after work for a smoke and a big mug of beer .After all this about pratap...how can i forget deepak....yeah deepak is usually too busy debugging something to notice anything else other than his monitor, the tv next to him and the blue box with wind river writen on it.

Ok ...so i told pratap that he must be drunk himself. The day went on as usual untill after lunch when i wanted something from my bag. I opened it a bit and got the shock of my life....u wont believe what i saw......my air tickets, passport and wallet were all floating in a yellow ocean of stench. Yes u guessed it right......the smoothie bottle was actually a devil in disguise, the yellow liquid devil had forced open the cap and was drowning my hopes of getting back to india that weekend unless ofcourse the british customs did not mind letting me out of the country with a completely soaked passport and matching yellow air tickets. I rushed to the rest room and used up all the tissues i could find to clean up my bag and passport....hahaha god save the lady who comes in to the restroom and realizes that there are no more tissues only after finishing her job....well....like i care.....i had to clean up the mess if i ever wanted to return to my home country....it was pretty much a "do or die in one of the prisons of great britain" kinda situation.

I managed to clean up everything and went back to my place. I spread out the imporatant docs on my table and left them to dry only to spill a glass of water on them after half hour....why god why.....why was all this happening to me.....i was not even thirsty but i had to drink water and then my butter fingers had to slip and the glass had to come tumbling down on my passport again. Hmmm....so i took another half hour to clean up this mess.....but thats not the funny part. We left at around 8 clk for dinner ...pratap, deepak and myself. While in the taxi deepak and me were planning to get back to office after dinner to finish up some pending work and all along pratap was saying that its not a good idea. He dint say why even thought we asked him. We reached deepaks favourite popaddum express and only after pratap had his usual dose of beer did he say that he thought it was not safe for us to travel late in the night by taxi cuz he smelt alcohol and he was sure that the driver was drunk. Sooooo much for the innocent taxi driver who had a clumsy girl sitting in the back seat with a blue bag that still smelt of spoilt mango-banana-orange smoothie. Yuuukkkk. Oh yeah....now i am 100% sure, pratap has a malfunctioning brain along with a malfunctioning nose :-) cuz u need the brain to co-ordinate with the nose, eyes and ears to relate the stench in office with the visuals of my passport and tickets spread out on the table along with my loud cribbing to the same stench in the taxi later that evening :-) I wanted to tell him then n there but i thought a blog post would be much better :-)Pratap are you gonna kill me for this post ? Would u still get the miniature Big Ben i asked for ?

13 Comments:

At 3:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think pratap will try that mangosmoothie to validate the claim, before he can kill you:-))),

 
At 3:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anu are u still sane after spending 2 weeks with pratap and deepak ?

 
At 2:32 AM, Blogger calvin said...

Its with sheer determination and willpower that i have managed to retain my sanity :-)

 
At 2:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey calvin, uve posted after a long time :-) nice post. Do v get to see pics of deepak and pratap?

 
At 8:33 PM, Blogger calvin said...

me_mumbling : Thank u :-)

 
At 12:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't belive a word of these Chinese-whispers about me.
Anu, I'll get you for this, and your little dog too. May the farce be with you.

Just for the record, I'm 'straight', and NO, I'm not an alcoholic. Actually, beer does not qualify as alcohol ... trust me, I've had enough of it.

After reading the details of why Anu was frequently oscillating to the restroom and back with a silly grin on her face - which kinda puzzled me in the first place - I realize as to why there were no tissues in the rest-room ... ooops !

Deepak continues to perform amazing tasks of "cowboy coding", standing on one leg.
Why, just today, he misheard "alarm not firing" as "fire alarm", and the rest is history. He rightly deserves to be called Don Quixote of software-land.

Hey, I was damn right about the Punjabi taxi driver ... he smelt like a bottle Bacardi. Chivalry is dead, long live Bushido.

And yes, true to my word, I did return with a replica of St. Stephen's Tower.

See you later, alligator.

 
At 8:54 PM, Blogger calvin said...

pratap as long as i got my big ben :-).... nothing else matters now.

 
At 11:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Miss pgsel when will u stop ur tirade against these 2 people... poor chaps really. however ur writing skills are truly amazing.. quit philips and become a writer and trust me lady u can beat JK Rowling just like that !!!

 
At 9:25 PM, Blogger calvin said...

Miss pgsel ....hmmmm....u must be some one from the 1st floor lake wing.
Pratap and Deepak ....poor chaps ....??? I can only think of parallel lines :-))))

 
At 9:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice post...
Another way of keeping PRatap from raising PRs :)

"I realize as to why there were no tissues in the rest-room ... ooops !"

But what was insane talkative man doing in ladies toilet?

 
At 10:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahaha
i cudnt agree more with Pratap.
He is not at all alcoholic...this is just normal for him.
I mean if one can can "smell the air and find his ways"
then smelling bacardi out of rotten juice is nothing....

 
At 12:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Yo !

Rum IS the rotten juice of sugarcanes !
Don't belive me ?
See - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rum

Anyway, I won't let this beautiful blog degenrate into an intellectual debate on the origins of "fine wines".

By-the-by, Waterloo has nothing to do with eau de toillete. So, pardon moi !
So mucho for el lavabo de damas.

As regards me raising PRs, bugs come in many shapes and sizes, viz., :
- creepy-crawly creatures
- bad code ( seriously bad )
- Deepak a.k.a. De-Bug a.k.a. The-Bug

OK...thats it for now, I'm off for my 6th detox session. I promised my imaginary friends to attend the late-night session.

- Buenas Noches,
Spiderman.

 
At 9:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey I like your new page template. It is much much better than the black background. I don't have to strain my eyes to read your blog ;) - Your Big Sis

 

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