I dont know
I am confused ....confused about anything and everything. I dont even know if i am hungry and need to have dinner . Even as my mom yells that dinner is ready, i cant decide if im just bored hungry or actually hungry.
I dont know if I want to break rules and do things that I think are right or if I should just listen to the people who have experienced life more than me and just follow what they say.
I dont know if i should tell certain people that I dont exactly believe in what they r trying to do for me or if i should just let them do whatever they wanna do cuz it keeps them happy.
I dont know if i should follow my heart and go and get what i want even if it means the whole world is against me or if i should just accept whats thrown into my arms and learn to be happy.
The thoughts in my head are so many, intermingled like a thousand wires twisted in all possible directions to make innumerable knots.When i try to untie some of these knots , i make new knots and the existing thoughts are so happy that new knots have formed.The thoughts sneer at me as i try to organize them, they laugh back as i struggle to figure out if i am happy or sad. At one moment they make me feel like i am the luckiest person on earth and the very next moment they snatch away the last curve of my smile and make me feel like a complete loser.I wonder how it would be to have a thoughtless mind, something like a fresh clean pure white empty bowl to begin with which i can fill with only nice things.As i wonder, i dont realize that ive just added one more thought to the already existing hive.My head feels so heavy with so many thoughts that i wish i could tilt my head and push some of them over the edge so they spill over and break like pieces of glass on the shiny floor beneath and then i would step on them with hard shoes and crush them further untill they became a fine powdered substance which i could then throw far far far away so the thoughts get carried with the harsh winds to some unknown land and can never ever find their way back into my head......I dont know if i should write more or stop right here....
....well....
posted by calvin @ 9:06 AM
12 comments
12 Comments:
"If experience was so important, we'd never have had anyone walk on the moon." -Doug Rader
p.s: remember me?
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hi Sri...
Ofcourse I remember u :-)
Mam, uve posted after such a long time and not the usual funny stuff....whats happening ?
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great! glad to hear that :) shoot me a mail: sriranjan(at)gmail.com. It has been a long time!
I do symphathize with you. Sometimes the ability to think seems like the biggest curse on mankind, sometimes it seems the best thing one could have!
They keep you awake all night, and your mind "knotted in thoughts" recounts the following morning "Was it worth it ?" - Guess life's like that. Or are we paying the price for being a Human!
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*nicker*, *nicker*
well, thats a trojan horse saying happy b'day!
You are the one witness of everything and are always completely free. The cause of your bondage is that you see the witness as something other than this.
If one thinks of oneself as free, one is free, and if one thinks of oneself as bound, one is bound. Here this saying is true, "Thinking makes it so."
---Ashtavakra Gita
i missed your birthday :(
for that i apologise, i did send you an SMS, but i didn't receive any reply.
so either you didn't get it or you were pissed off with me...
oye, have an excellent year!
and i can still mail you the photos of Kaushik that i took off my blog...
This sounds like a recursion!!
Brain trying to analyse itself!
Lady, take an excursion and get out of this recursion :-).
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